made it in the movies.

2003-05-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

2003-05-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

electricity down your cradled spine
it feels icy cold to look up now
urgh. urgh. urgh. i have been waiting for three days for this x-men 2 to complete its download. and i was so happy when i was finished. but. apparantly, it turns out to be spiderman. urgh. i wonder if some people can tell the difference between mutants and disfigured spiders. -rolls eyes- im glad ive the irc downloaded one. -huggs bubu- if bubu didnt help me with those yucky codes id never be able to see the wonders of nightcrawler in action again. and of cos, the pretty rouge. =) my favourite scene is still that scene where she kissed iceman. whoah!!! so cool. -swoons- and i got her pretty face on my desktop. the x-men flash. tsk tsk. it's totally rad. now im gonna change my whole desktop's theme just to blend in. i amuse myself. hehs. anyways every part of my body has been aching since this morning. i promise you im never gonna accompany char to walk a thousand miles with no directions. but oh wells. bio and amath tests tomms. shoes and bubu came over today supposedly to finish up our song. but shoes ended up tutoring bubu math. and me too of cos. and i distracted bubu quite alot. shoes was irritated. and she's a real cornie tutor. lol. the product rule of differentiation is the mokey rule. there are apes and baboons included. ahas. and bubu returned me my shirt. it looks... discolored. wonder if her mom washed it with bleach or wort. and it reeks of her smell. grr. surprisingly, she cannot fit into my berms. they're too short fer her. hahs. and we have the same shoes size! oh wells. bubu im going over to yer place to kop some clothes back very soon. -grinnns- gonna slp early tonight. lotsa activities on this weekend. there's service and my bro's getting married!!! yayness. he dropped by just now. he looks really good recently. perhaps it's the radiance that glows because he's in christ huh. or he's going through grooming for his big day? hehes. im actually more excited bout going to fullerton than seeing him get married. ahas! sorry bro! but really. i can't wait to see you get married actually. so perhaps youd have yer own kids and youd wisen up and stop treating me like a kid. =p

pherd just called. got lotsa things to ponder over now. -breathes- things will work out fine yea god? many things on my agenda. but. i'll prioritise. and everything will be okai with him around. -nod nods-

][jukebox][ enya - fallen embers
][feeling][ achy still

2003-05-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

brr.
-breathes- 5items over! -whoops!- all i need is a C and above for my 2.4km run and i can get my gold. ahas. didnt do napfa last year. exempted myself. am glad that i still can be close to gold this year. was pretty late after the whole thing. went down to the cbd area with pei char ser eileen to snap some cool shots for our class page but char just made us walk around the place over and over and over again. urgh. now my feet is aching. terribly. anyways was a great night out. snapped lotsa rubbishy shots. oh wells. had a great day. but im tired. still looking forward to tomms =) it'll be a better day ahead. -yawns- oh yea! added new photos here -grinns- the left column btw.

][jukebox][
][feeling][ achy all over

2003-05-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

i love my nails now! =)
was filing and buffing my nails all the way from suntec to home. wahas. i like. =) and bubu!!! i shall do manicure fer you tomms kies? -grinns- can save money. but you can pay me for my services though. kekes. newaes came home early today supposedly to rest cos i wasnt feeling too good in school. but. the minute i was feeling fine, my mom asked me to go shopping with her and auntie lalita. =.= what a cute mom i have. but i thank God for giving me the best. shall go slp now. pain coming up. napfa tomms. -stretches-

][jukebox][ faye wong - tian kong
][feeling][ pain.

2003-05-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

You were always there for me with Your sweet yet fiery calls, beckoning me with those subtle signals. twilight made no difference to Your preference, bound to You with a force unbeknownst to me. sometimes i sit and watch the stars, wishing out loud for my dreams. othertimes i spoke gently, my words floating away on the cool summer breeze right into Your hands in heaven. still, those midnight walks meant something to me, those long prayers that went for hours, those slight smiles of Yours in the hallways in my mind. however all was snatched away with the fall of the garden of eden. we only met in short passages, cut off by pressing matters of significance, still, i found my own ways to be with You, in spirit if not in mind. You meant so much to me, You still do and maybe i can pray that I still mean that much to You cos ive fallen so far short of Your glory. maybe one day i can see You face to face once again and finally be under Your wings. Father, ilu+

2003-05-12T05:37:00.000-07:00

cos i know He's out there some where
just reached home from seed. -phews- it's so... erhh. hmms. to share close mushy mushy stuff with guys. but scraped through anyhows. wells i started painting on my art piece today! real rad. -huge grinns- am painting on this 120 x 80cm huge plywood. brr. so exciting. finished the outlines today in a dark creepy room alone. was like singing to myself so i wont be that scared. til lynnette burst open the door and i screamed. she turned around and screamed, "what are you doing on top of that?!" i was like, "painting". hahas. hilarious. anyways im trying really hard to figure out how this avi thing in irc works. urgh. was so reluctant to install irc. grr. but for my x-men 2, i'll do it. oh! and shoes enlightened me on the dance of the blessed spirits. it's actually at 72/semiquaver. not crotchet. ahas. now it's oh so ballady. and i can finally manage. the mep room is now my chill out area in school. ahas. cos it's fully air conditioned. okai. ignore me. shoots. bio test tomms! -scrambles off the comp to mug-

][jukebox][ gluck - the dance of the blessed spirits
][feeling][ nerdie

2003-05-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

"i dig my toes into the sand.
the ocean looks like a thousand
diamonds strewn across a blue
blanket. i lean against the wind,
pretend that i am weightless, and in
this moment i am happy."

2003-05-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

as i sat down and smoothed my skirt
she held me and planted a kiss on my cheeks

reflections dance across my almond brown tinted eyes and mold me into the clay i was slowing sinking into. You only smile and i promise i see confetti waltzing in the breeze like leaves falling from the trees on a cool autumn afternoon. i can erase everything except for your silhouette plastered across my mind, but perhaps that is simply because You are the only piece of reality that has ever made my taste buds tingle in delight. and You can erase everything except for my sunkissed smile because i can only smile at that slice of sunshine You painted that has ever brightened up my days. good thing i am moulded in this clay with Your arms wrapped around me because this is where i want to stay.

is it strange how i spend my times these days. getting cheery every saturday with my worship and praise on my lips. it is ironic really. the way life twists and turns. i am on this rollercoaster and it never ends. i was riding the waves. i was taking the falls. and i was vomitting up all the bullshit i used to swallow down. used to ask if there was a better way to take those pills. to shoot it up. inhale, exhale. where was i going with that. where was i going in life. down the drain. passed out of the floor of a bedroom with pills in my hand. was i an ending. or a beginning. nothing seemed clear. i was tearing apart everything that used to be real. was i dreaming. or was everything crashing down. was i free. or were those bars surrounding me. was it strange how i spent my time those days. wearing myself out. doing nothing at all. dwelling on thoughts that meant nothing at all.

so fast and it was gone leaving me counting upon my fingers how many silly memories i had of myself. maybe we all crash and burn at some point in our lives. maybe we all fall. picking up the pieces just isn't on everyone's agenda. but arent you so glad there's this great Him up there to pick up the fallen you? wells, i am.

][jukebox][ david meece - forgiven
][feeling][ assurred.

2003-05-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

a hazy shady greyed solitude enveloped in my paper heart
but no. im not gonna fall apart
shoes is giving me pressure with the dance of the blessed spirits. -shakes head- i havent been playing classical on the piano for a long long time. esp for exams. and now she wants me to do it, i feel so. urgh. not up to it. though it's a lento piece. the whole thing is semi-quavered! sheesh. and the keys run like more than an octave apart. but im doing pretty fine for only page one of the scores. looking at the second page full of semiquavers just makes me go bonkers. -hops around- im actually in a pretty hyper mood after fiddling with my clavinova. was deciding whether i should write out skin on skin or shen qing xiang yong on the organ. cos these two songs have been ringing in my head recently. was about to settle on skin on skin when i listened to it again and felt it's more bossa nova style and repetitive and it's on the fsharp major. whereas shen qing xiang yong is on e major and has more variations one the left hand and pedals. makes me feel better. -grinns. i really love songs with powerful vocals. am crossing my fingers about fel being able to reach high on our song. was getting the chorus notes fixed and you know what. the highest note is e. tried to lower it but... -shakes head-. the arranger should do it right, shoes? -pictures her jumping up and down outside the mep room after she saw her name on the list as an arranger- when asked what's wrong with her, she exclaims ever so excitedly, "that's what joe hahn does!" now. do you want a turntable too shoes? and i thought of sth for val to do besides coming up with the lyrics. that is.... -drum rolls- the role of a dancer! yes! toe! you can do a lil ballet if we ever get a chance to perform. know youre like worried and upset you can't be on stage. -wide wide grinns-

tonight's ami was real red. you know why? cos clay was oh so good. but there was sth wrong with the size of his oh so magical blue eyes. but im so happy joshua gracin is out!!! buhbye! the real talents are still on the couch. -grinns- today has been so good cos i got to nap in the afternoon and do some reading. and i was trying to study ss a minute ago. but that was such an agony. mens. my sister is one jealous girl. it's proven and tested you know. she gets jealous over the slightest stuff. not being able to draw or have new shoes is not a very great deal, val.

sat's service's gonna be an eye opener to many of you out there. hahs. and of cos, myself. but coming to think of it, a new beginning will always make an impact. -walks off to curl in a corner for nightly prayers-

][jukebox][ shen qing xiang yong
][feeling][ pretty hyped.

2003-05-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

now. you know i love you, dont you?
god. god. god. god. youre all i need. period.

][jukebox][ steven curtis chapman - when love takes you in
][feeling][ shagged

2003-05-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

zonked.
im like so zonked. did outdoor filming today. was really hilarious. just praying they wont put in on hopenews bloopers or something. taught wynnie cheong how to play the piano. -shakes head- mens. what a student. hahas. had organ lessons after that followed by shepherding. was chatting with jessie on my bed til both of us fell aslp. she was curled up at one end of the bed and me at the other. and i woke up at ten to realise she was gone and ive seven chapters of chemistry to study for tomms. and im hacing a very bad flu now. sighs. and toe just msged me she's not goin to sch tomms. and my bro just emailed me a whole lot more chunks of stuff to do for him. ahhs. im not feeling well now.

][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal
][feeling][ sick

2003-05-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

it's been nine months :)
so exciting. -beamms- my bro's getting married. -rubs hands in delight- can't wait. really. to see him settle down and all. yea. i'll go to his condo everyday mens. it's facing the sea. cool rights. -grinns- and the wedding dinner's gonna be in the knighty style. cos he's a captain in the army. how cool. mmmmms. fullerton. mmmmms. nice food. mmmmms. can't wait.

anyways. had an enjoyable dinner today with eelee jessie debbie shuping huishi. nice nice. under the night sky. lol. nice fellowship. shared really lame jokes. jessie's "leg pulling" joke was a good one. -nod nods- oh wells. tired. let's not get to the details of the day. =)

][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal [hooked onto it]
][feeling][ zonked.

2003-05-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

sighs. fred. youre sucha nag. anyways, here! peter and you.

:)

2003-05-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

random white flowers, one square of asphalt.
the door that gets conventietly placed
behind a tree on a backwards house.
you can get in but there's no way out.
unless you walk through a tree.
the one thing you cant do is everything,
the one thing that you cant make go away.
and so what if you were standing there crying?
this just hurts more than being hurt.
and i could swear by your expression
that the pain down in your soul
was the same as the one down in mine way back.
thats the pain that cuts a straight line
down through the heart,
we call it love dead with apprehension.
each second is a century.
keep waking up screaming.
scream and scream but there is no noise.
echoes in your own head.
a lack of. inexistant, ineffectual. scream.

2003-05-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

and when i saw Him
i threw myself right into His arms and sobbed
i dont like feeling like this after a day's of emotional ups and downs. perhaps its the misery of songs flowing in my blood. or just an overdose of evanescence. hmns. God created me in a strange way. He must have forgot the inside when he painted me. sighs. -pats on my back- everything will be okay. God's in control, remember girl?

anyways. to shoes and toe out there. i strongly feel that the last words of each line in the song should rhyme, in the ole chino style.

][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal
][feeling][

2003-05-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
shoes and toe just went home. -looks at the clock- ooh! erm two hours ago. yepps. -grinns- had an enjoyable time together fiddling around with my piano, electone and clavinova. like shoes was fascinated. wow! wow! wow! hahas. and we finally started on our song. after toe got her lyrics inspirations from evanescence. grr. and evanescence and linkin park and the stroke have been playing on and on since the time they territorized my computer. =.= no. they had a war for my mouse. ahas. anyways toe is really rad. she came up with great lyrics while i was trimming shoes' hair. [which didnt take long] anyways, we just had lotsa fun together. clashes in music tastes but we settled on the evanescencey style. ahas. cos we're only doing it on the piano, right shoes? val? oh wells. im glad we're getting somewhere. and we're doing great. that's the best thing. have this urge to write sth sad. after reading the lyrics toe wrote.

there he stands,
cloaked in forest's hues-
hooded gaze with guarded eyes ablaze
and wind-whipped locks of night
casting their sillouettes across his face.
fleeting expressions of a loss so great
are reflected in the sea's crashing tears
thundering about his ankles.
a heart-felt lament,
escapes his lips and tightening throat
singing of a love lost.
tendrils of sea-grass slice miniscule cuts about his feet
but still he stands staring at a horizon that he wants not to meet,
for his tomorrow is dead without her.

and there she stands
atop a cliff of copper and grey,
staring out at him through a new moon's night.
the ebony strands of her hair blowing across her face
do little to hide her flowing tears.
as he sings his grief unto the stars,
her heart skips two beats
and she stands torn.
she lived a lie to make him love her,
but she cannot decieve him past this night.
if only he knew of her hurt and her pain
and the void that she feels without him.
but he deserves much more than she could ever give,
for what can a vagabond rogue such as her,
offer a prince?

so there they are, rendered vulnerable.
two halves of a great tragedy to defy the times.
and the tears just keep on coming

][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal
][feeling][ inspired

2003-05-01T02:37:00.000-07:00

pray for me.
it's a soft-spoken murmur,
an unintelligable mumble.
it's a love song at midnight,
a desperate call to heaven.
it's a cry and a whisper,
trembling lips and rug burn knees.
it's pleading and asking
and an answer with mercy.

God's here, and I'll pray for you.

2003-04-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

cos im lazy.
my day will be ripped from toe's blog
what i did today...
quote toe [[Just got back from a wonderful lunch date with rons and yogs ;). And a crappy one too lol. We went Breeks and argh it was act. kinda weird for me at first cause yogs a vegeterian and rons just became one today (XD), but the food made me forget about everything haha, and yogs + rons lame jokes XD. Too bad diana had to go for piano lessons :P. They have this cute little thing at Breeks, everytime a customer walks in or goes out, ALL the staff will say "Welcome.." or "Thank you..." in unison XD. It was so cool! And ours were particularly loud :) (I'm 100% sure yogs loved it :D). We dropped by Seoul garden, said hi to the peeps there, went to pass money to eddie (like very long never see him liao XD, and he mysteriously looked younger), and me and yogs ended up having an intense conversation inside the mrt station at the escalators XD. Today was good ;D.]] unquote.

of cos. i left for cg after toe met eddie [[?!?!?]]. and had a wonderful time at cg. -thumbs up- and yea. im turning vegeterian. hahas. surprised? well i know toe was. she's waiting for the day i succumb to the juicy tender chicken meat. but NO! im going green. anyone care to join me? hahas. which means - no more seoul garden. hahas. and no shoe! im not cooking for you guys on friday. -bleahs- my kitchen's fully equipped though. you can try impressing me with your culinary skills. but. remember. no meat. -grinns-.

so i came home announcing im going green. but why doesnt anyone seem to believe i'll stop eating chicken? i mean, i dont eat beef pork lamp seafood whatever right from the start. the only poultry i take is chicken. so, what's the fuss? it's just an item missing. -whines inside- hahas. yogs. it's not my fault if i dont stick to my green diet alright? it's just that. i really really have crazy craving for chicken kies. but yea. after all the horror stories of chicken you told me, i think im pretty determined. for today. for now. at least. =) i'll do my best. yeay!

][jukebox][ chris tomlin - forever
][feeling][ amused

2003-04-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

even in the midst of the storm
he'll still be here with me
sighs. im feeling so full. still. and my tummy's feeling so weak. urgh. toe. cheap stuff's really not good. -sighs- we should never go for 50% discounts anymore. yea. so the trip today to the new amk seoul garden was real rad besides the part toe cheated me =.=. we were having fun, you know, eating and joking away. and oh yes. you should ask toe herself to tell you how silly she was. -feels amused all over- but. after stepping outta that seoul garden. both of us were like so full we had to lug ourselves to the station to meet fio's friend. he's erm. hmn. erm. really inclined towards his feminine side. -chuckles- but oh wells. we went to many guardian pharmacies to search for toe's stuff. hmn. to no avail though. so we switched to nerd modes. and went in search for books. library!!! -grinns- anyhows. long, painful yet happy day out with my toe. -huggies- you're like my medicine. you cured my blues. lol. but. sorry. He's still my ultimate antidote. hahas. then again, for now. my tummy just hurts big time. -sighs- but yes! breeks is still on tomms. you can't escape. -grinns-

][jukebox][ clay - something new
][feeling][ a bad tummy ache. -ouch-

2003-04-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

the pain hurts so much
my prayer is for immunity to emotions
why will it not go away? uh huh, god, you'll be here. now, please, now? last night was turmoil. on stage today was tormenting. i played the opposite character. every moment, the voice at the back of my head whispered, "the show must go on." yet when the night cascades. the mask rips itself apart. and the tears fall. for a reason i know not. for a rhyme unheard of. im not wiping on my bed, god. im crying my heart out loud to you.

toe. being emotional is not a good thing. -cries-

][jukebox][ more of you, lord
][feeling][ detached

2003-04-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

have you ever looked into my eye and said,
"i know this girl"?
i woke up today with a heavy heart. and somehow. i started crying on my bed at one point of time or another. it was a five hours soulful cry. ive no idea why i cried that long. or how i started. i remember looking into that jinxed mirror and saw the tears printed on my face. i thought of calling someone but when i picked up the phone, i realised, i know none of my friend's number by memory, except one. but i figured that one would not be appropriate. that friend... is a detached one of mine. somehow, when we look at each other in the eye, we'd turn away. it just didnt seem right. then i figured i could dial a number up to heaven. i wanted to hear god's voice. but. i never knew the correct number. and im pretty much certain heaven wouldnt be listed in the yellow pages. cos it should be found somewhere in my heart. yet i dont know why but i knew my prayers went wrong. wrong frequency perhaps.

"only the children know what they are looking for," said the little prince. "they waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry..." -the lil prince

][juekbox][ jaci velasquez - just a prayer away
][feeling][

2003-04-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

ive no idea why
but tonight "comewhatmay" made me cry
today's the longest day ever in the week. went for guides in the morning without my three items and i didnt hafta pump. -evil grinns- wells, ive a rash attack. hahas. and i didnt do footdrill too. wells, ive a rash attack. and no, im not a big time slacker. hahas. ive a mc. -chuckles- anyways was observing footdrill and im pwroud to say the sec three/four squad's real rad. cos the commanders got so sian-ed of commanding and the footdrillers got so sian-ed of footdrilling and i, the onlooker got so sian-ed of on looking, we decided to play games behind gwee's back. -giggles- hush hush! we played dog and bone and the ladder game thing and i was the one shouting out the numbers. -sorry to those who were number twos- hehes. am tempted always to shout "two two two!" no. dont ask me why im so into the number two. i simply love it. anyways the sec twos lost and their forfeit was to spell veronica[yeps ive the longest name in sngg.lol]. amanda. weimin. cos we were "running" the game show. lol. but we did all this behind gwee. -chuckles softly-

then we went for our break while the poor sec ones were with gwee. hehes. my guider's a classic i tell you! right at the track, she was with an umbrella!!! -bursts out in laughter- i really did when i saw her. she's my amusement. anyways i got real pist after the break. was trying to conduct my tentage lecture when... okay. shant talk bad bout anyone. it's really bad. yep yeps. -shakes head with displeasure at myself- but anyways it feels good teaching and marking test papers. -feels myself floating into the air-

-pulls myself back to earth- oh wells guides was real rad today. -grinns- they whole company sang me a belated bday song and my dear swallow patrol gave me a really nicely done up card and a cute furry red giraffe pencil case. -grinns- my fettish for red will never go unnoticed. as well as that dirty pink adidas pencil case im using now. i remember gwen being so displeased with that ink smeared pencil case. wahas. you guys are much appreciated. :)

rushed down for pm after guides and made it just in time for the ending praise. hahas. with a broken slipper. once again. but i bought another pair of sneakers. an orange one. my pherd chose it for me!!! -grinns wide wide- and puay loved it too so she bought the same pair. and i was really studying at bk. -feels even prouder of myself- but im sure i wouldnt have completed that much work without god. -gives my best friend a huggie- hope today's sermon really spoke to my people's hearts. -breathes- really. you can lack anything but the word.

had dinner at starhub then went to heeren to while a lil time away with ting.soph.val and supposedly rach and puay. wells,
didnt stay there long and came home. then left home again to s.gardens with jac with the intentions of studying. also we were craving for cartel but cafe was packed. so irked. so we went to brown box instead. and i did my work again. but jac was chatting away on her cell. and her notes were stuck to the table but her eyes were stuck in the air cos she was getting pist with the one on the other side of the line. and people!!! i drank mocha today. but i didnt enjoy it. coffee is just not part of my story. we were there til twelve. [the shop was closing]. and there werent any buses available. so we walked home. hahas. was real dark and like zilch traffic? and we were laughing and chatting away. yea. my buddie. -smiles-

it's past three am now but my energy is still at peak. thus this long entry. but oh wells. i really loved today. but something's missing. -scratches head-

][jukebox][ simple plan - just a kid
][feeling][ never more hyper. -grinns-

2003-04-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

i know it's so hard to see the truth
when the sun's shining in your eyes
and the wind is howling all around you

and it's hard to see the truth
when you dont want to
look around you to see
the fragments of pity,
of love and of pain.

but why blind your visions in the rain?

have you even blinked the eye in your soul
to see the pretty painted picture of r a i n?

-plants a kiss on your forehead- take heart xiaoting. im here, remember? wanna see the smile on you like how you brought forth a light of the morning sun in the midst of the storm, that very day.

we followed the footprints
down a road less travelled
where that warm, stormy day was ideal
and rain being our energizer batteries

twirled freely in the middle of that alley
watch the droplets
move in slow motion as we puddle hopped
and poked one another in the butt

then you picked a flower from the greens
held it to your nose
breathed and exclaimed "ahh!!!"
and i giggled at your little amusement

danced with arms outspread
begging the crystal rain to blanket our bodies
watched my reflection shatter
in the puddle you just jumped into

as that reflection shattered
i felt whole again
for that one moment of
an infinite feeling

:)
lil girl, your innnocence wipes my sadness away.
ilu+

2003-04-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

youre an angel in the pit with her hands in the air
and we're missing you
walked in the rain today again. -smiles- iloveit. can god be anymore more wonderful? -sighs with a smile- it's a beautiful thing and i dont think i can keep it all in.

it's your love
it just does something to me
it sends a shock right through me
i can't get enough
and if you wonder
about the spell im under
it's your love

last night was another of the nights i sat up in bed thanking him for all the greatness he has made in my life. it was another one of those moments where i cried my happy tears and sang a song to him. i can never be a more joyful girl. went for ncc's bible study with jac and i really felt refreshed. perked my up like nothing after all the coping up at home cos of my rash attack. the kinda feeling's like standing in the midst of a storm seeing turmoil all around you yet experiencing a smooth sailing journey at sea in your heart. wells, i dont know how to put it across in words. but, im just feeling good. -smiles-

but im upset with myself today for the fact i succumbed to stepping into this fashion for the first time in my entire life to get a tube. wells, it's like that when you're broke. -sighs- and sorry to puay, bella zhixin who had to bear with my whines and moodiness. sorry yea?

im goin to be teaching tomms! lol. at guides. ahh. i feel like ive been promoted. anyways jac was rushing through her international human rights law essay and i was helping her proof read and do the formatting before we went and today i came home with her sulking in front of the comp going ga-ga. she was totally upset with technology. lol. you should have seen the agony smacked on her pretty face. helped her get things going and sent her off in a cab. was really glad she msged me at four forty five, which was her time deadline. a simple "thanks boy" made my heart smile. never mind the "boy" part. it doesnt make her any less tomboy than me. so why the fuss? =) now i just gotta clear up her mess. oh wells. really want her to do well for her final law year. it'd be totally bad if she screws it up. wanna see my dear in court. -grinns-

][jukebox][ lil mermaid - part of your world
][feeling][ a million smiles in my heart.

2003-04-23T05:47:00.000-07:00

every awake hour is a moment of pain
urgh. period.
yes. pun severely intended.

ron's top five do-withouts:
# God
# pink pill
# pink pill
# pink pill
# pink pill

was sent home today halfway in school cos of the rash. bahh. anyways ms low was really nice to me today. she gave me a head-to-toe scan and was pleased with my uniform. lol. of cos i adjusted my belt before i went near the office. but thats besides the point. she told me to go to the docs, rest well, drink lotsa water and on and on. she sounded like my granny. -chuckles- anyways. the doc said my rash was due to the weather. so it's either the sun or the rain. played in the rain with xiaoting yesterday. but no. it cannot be the rain. i mean. its not my first time playing in the rain after all. -shrugs- but im fit fer school! hahas. and im having really bad cramps. urghhhh. that time of the girl's calendar.

][jukebox][ delirious - lord you have my heart
][feeling][ in agony

2003-04-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

like you push me to my limits all the time?
-censored- decided it'd be better if this wasnt here. entry removed :: 4/23/2003 12:33:09 AM

][jukebox][
][feeling][

2003-04-20T09:19:00.000-07:00

the dreams don't matter / when i am kissing death with a thousand different pairs of lips / whispering a thousand different words / that were never a part of my vocabulary / before my sudden brush with demise / scrutinize the tears / my eyes can no longer cry / fill the envelope / seal it with memories of tomorrow / forget about the regrets of yesterday / faded catastrophes and somber epiphanies / you read into each word / like the needles prodding deep into my back / bury the hatchet / bury the secrets i never wanted to tell / but you remembered them too well / some sort of bizarre asphyxiation / with my fingerprints / an escapade of expose / stamped upon your tongue / reminiscence suffocating me / chlosterphobic tendencies / you taste like twenty three names for a broken heart / and if only i didn't die / just once in your fumbling embrace / i would be able to break down / these barriers of escapism

2003-04-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

ive been blogging for a year and thirteen days!
lol. that's a really long way back huh. but the things im ranting bout and used to rant bout are like worlds apart.'sup that's good? yea. im like laughing at myself looking at what i used to get upset over while reading through my past blogs. stumbling mens. -shakes head- anyways! my cous is coming back in a few mins. her plane has landed. boo boo. i missed her. but the thought of her always taking my stuff is simply annoying. when she was gone, i was so miserable. now she's coming back, im sighing away. but i really hope she's got stuff for me mens. -grinns-

][jukebox][ take that - back for good
][feeling][ cracked up.

2003-04-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

who makes the sun light up my shadows
when the darkness tries to follow me?
who makes the air that brings me life
so i can breathe the love that's given to me?

You make everything good
everything wonderful
You grace my days
and heaven fills my view
let's forever sing
You make everything pure
everything beautiful
You make me see the only thing that's true
it's You, it's You.

who makes the waters of my sorrow part
and leads the gladness into my heart?
who makes the rivers run that wash away
and clean my soul to make a new start?

You hung the moon
You placed the stars that shine Your love for me.
i hope all that i do will show reflections of You.
All I do, all for You, shine Your love through me.

Youre everything pure and beautiful.

2003-04-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

she gave away the secrets of her past
and said "ive lost control again"
"turn it up," then she said,
"kill the lights, put your umbrella up and let it r a i n all night."

2003-04-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

and i am on bended knees
crying out to you
why do they always do this to me?
my mom insisted that i go buy my clothes for kor's wedding today cos she has no other free days. ahh. spoilt all my plans. anyways my legs are aching from all the shopping and shopping. oh wells. my mom spent eight hundred bucks on me. ahas. and me alone. yea. tell me how cool that is. but i just kept walking in and out of fitting rooms and changing clothes after clothes. and i did it really quick cos i wanted so desperately to end it and rush down to sengkang. but my mom just kept buying and buying. she said i looked okay in everything. of cos, aunty siew didnt help much by nodding her head at every piece i wore. and therefore, the bill chalked up to that much. got this really nice evening gown for the dinner. -grinns- i like it. but im sure my bro's gonna have so much comments. i feel it coming my way. i can't help thinking what if i trip over that long dress that goes all the way to my toes. or slip from that heels at the slippery fullerton floor. he's gonna laugh his head off. =/ and my mom bought me worship together songbook 5.0 muahahas. im a happy girl =). and penguinienie! and piggymate, there's god of wonders scores inside. i can hear your excited screams from here. lol.

i realised that blogs with seriously screwed up html codings totally turn me off. i won't like even bother to read bout their daily rantings. feel that they'd be just as screwed. no. im not being judgemental. just being more aware of myself. lol. misconception? prove me wrong. ahas.

and ping chatted up with me tonight. =) im really glad. thanks girl. =) it really meant alot to me.

and i felt the greatest weight lifted from my quivering shoulders. watched it fall down to my feet and it collected on the tiles of grey making quite a mess of colours all over. more and more and more tumbles past my hips. some sticks in little whisps to my clothes. as i am led away from where i stood, a girl with a broom stops to clean off my mess from the floor.

][jukebox][ third day - nails in your hands
][feeling][ irritated.

2003-04-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

youre sinking faster and every
day, you seem to walk quicker
than the last. i watch you
momentarily falter as you pass
through the doors and lift your
eyes. i watch you create a wall
between everyone. your shoulder
length hair is but a shield from
unwanted eyes andrepetitive
glances. the headphones play
songs louder than the beckoning
noise than the halls hold. you
retreat to the bus that will take
you to your own personal white
picket fence and black door
hide-away. i watched you proceed
with careful moderation. i saw you
sneak onto the bus and seal
yourself in a plastic bag. i faded
into contentment as i sat behind
you. i saw you enter your home
and fall upon your bed and saw
every part of your day flow to the
surface as you bled in utter silence.
you rose to your feet and i watched
you look into the mirror and see the
bruises in your eyes. i watched you
look at your reflection, and i saw
the girl staring back into my eyes.

you stole my love away.

2003-04-17T09:49:00.000-07:00

you can see the tears in our eyes
that's the cry deep within our hearts
apparantly. ive got an order from my dad last night. on our way home in the car, he said i was to drink a cup of energy-drink everyday. and tea is a big no-no from now. like wudder!!! tea's my life, dad!!! okay. -takes a deep breath- like what's with the choice of milo, ovaltine and horlicks. like oh please. it all suxors. i hate horlicks and ovaltine and i so cannot stand milo. but thank god my dad's not around for my recess. muahahas. he like banned me from all those tempting cans of green tea in the refrigerator. shucks. =( the reason behind why my dad's imposing that on me is, according to him, good for me. cos i look tired everyday. like. bahh. perhaps i should come up with some negotiation with him. -thinks hard-

anyways the converts biang-ed us today. again. us being xiaoting and i. but it's okay. we're gonna persevere. we've got the most wonderful weapon with us mens. so it's like hmns. why would we lose to that red pokey disgusting devilishie evil lucifer. -waves hi to lucifer- and hey lucifer! go to hell mens! =D yup yupps. then xiaoting came over and we did more gifts for the visitors on sat. the klutz in me attacked again today. =/ but aint gonna talk bout it. ahas. you can try digging info out from xiaoting though. hahas.

][jukebox][ bread - belonging
][feeling][ -zilch-

2003-04-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

as if im gonna let your love back in my life.
as if.
yeayness! i had a great day! -grinns- went evax and we now have a deyi cg!!! -cheers!- i so cannot contain my excitement. more to come tomms... and thurs... and friday... and saturday!!! wow wow. anyways. the klutz attacked again today!!! yes. the klutz. the klutz in me. ahas. bought eggs home to make easter gifts for the people at cg tomms. was trying to make a candle with the shell with jessie. so yes. we were melting the wax in a carnation milk tin in a pot. and guess wort?!!! i was trying, trying too hard, to lift the hot tin outta the pot with a pair of chopsticks when jessie shouted, "nonononono!!!!" and whala! i spilt the melted wax into the pot. and whala again! it blew up! yes! it caught fire! and we panicked. i grabbed the pot and threw it into the basin and the smart us turned the tap on thinking water would put the fire out. then whala!!! the fire blew up again! even bigger. you should have been there to see the awed and in-that-state-of-shock expressions smacked on our faces! and now... the ceiling above the kitchen basin is black, covered with soot. ahas. wells. from there we concluded lesson 1: never attempt taking the tin out with a pair of chopsticks. so we scrubbed the pot covered with wax and everything. then. we carefully placed it on the stove and carried on. then! the klutz in me resurfaced! was trying to put the candles into the tin in the pot. and guess wort?!!! i missed!!! and it landed in the pot!!! and whala!!! the pot blew up again!!! -bursts out in laughter- this time we just left the pot there to deal on its own. lol. the fire ceased eventually. but... the pot! the pot! hahas. it was totally discolored and -shakes head- in a awful state. and so! lesson 2: never be a smart aleck and think yer aiming is fab ahas. yes. that sorta sums up my beeyootifoo day. am currently so hyped up cos i cannot wait for tomms easter cg. ladidums! life is all about joy with him.

][jukebox][ lyte funkie ones - west side story [[ooh-ers!]] [if uve never heard it, go hear it!]
][feeling][ -jumps around in hyperness- =D

2003-04-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

in a world where you fight
to express the creativity your very soul possesses;
there is a world in which you can lift your broken wings and fly;
united with words as our spirit- we will not go unheard.
from the earth below,
they shall watch us lift wings that they tore in hate,
as we hold fragile hands and soar towards the stars

2003-04-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

and as i walk along the roads of the world in which my hungry heart grew in, theres someone there to hold my hand. my mind is intoxicated from all the thoughts of You. i was afraid of tripping, but i ended up falling. falling for You. they said, "you need Him to make you smile." they didn't know i need You to make me cry. happy tears. =')

i breathe through the winds of the people
see past the sands of time
i am cradled in the arms of the angel
spread my wings and fly

i am your mystery
buried in shadows of centuries
you want to know my history
wells if you could only see

2003-04-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

-waves to xun-
hees. we're the only two crazy girls online at this really ungodly hour. ive never woken up so early. in fact, i only slept for two hours and woke up at three in the morning. bahh. anyways! both of us are really hyper.

][jukebox][ jaci velasquez - You
][feeling][ ready for the day =)

2003-04-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

wash your hands!!!
ahas. am currently head over heels crazy for this lil boy in this mcds advertisement. so cute!!! and he just shouts, "wash your hands!!!" ahh!!! does anyone knows where he stays? im gonna kidnap him. -evil grinns- kekes.

][jukebox][ evanescence - imaginary
][feeling][ =D

2003-04-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

and i saw the raindrops smiling
hees. im a joyful girl. -grinns wide wide- i love being at nexus on saturdays. never fails to refresh me. esp today's v and p as well as clm. just plainly his word and HIS word. whoah. amazes me all the time. today was just so far great. smelt freedom in the air. ahahas. am so joy-filled i can't settle down to describe my day. just. joyous. joyous. joyous. -grinns-

my goal in life: to serve, serve and serve Him til i cannot backslide anymore. :)

im dead convicted.

][jukebox][ clay aiken - something new
][feeling][ so anointed. =D

2003-04-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

check this out!!! ahahs! i love the first pic. -grinns- ladidums. that's what i took on that night me and my sis stayed up the whole night and went to catch the sunrise on our rollerblades. sorry val. -smirkks-

2003-04-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

anyone who thinks sunshine is happiness,
has not danced in the rain

2003-04-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

cuddy is a naughty girl!
she just jumped onto the dining table and gobbled up my pancake. -frowns- naughty naughty! i had to shoo her off by attracting her to her pedigree biscuits. bahh. sucha a fat and lazy and greedy dog. but my lil furrie girl is just so cuddly!!! she's cuddy after all. -grinns- my cuddy. -pats her head- and she's wagging her tail away. swoosh! =D

][jukebox][ because you loved me
][feeling][ amused by a lil pet.

2003-04-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

only god knows what i'm trying to say. he shows me the way to his leading heart and that things happen for a reason. whether you cry or laugh, he solves all your problems. he leaves you with a smile on your face and his love to trace, he plays his part, and that's why i'm thankful for the shape of my heart.
-whispers :: thank you-

2003-04-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

=)
how i wished,
like a doll,
i'll spark.

and they'll say,
"look at her,
look at her,
look at her!"

and for once,
i'll be proud of
what i am,
who i am,
how i am.

and not hide
in the hazy shadows
in silence,
in secret.

perhaps, perhaps.
i might have the guts.
fire a gun,
and shoot at the mirror.

itll smash
and grin no mockery
for once,
it's broken pieces
shall reflect

a doll
poised pretty dirt
sit and stare
stare and sit

pretty.
beautiful.
charming.

pretend pretend

2003-04-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

bahh!!! -cries- i just spilt my one and only apple flavored green lil bottle of yakult! -cries- now im left with a quarter of it! -sulkks- klutzy me. i want my yakult!!!

2003-04-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

fly away my little angel.
jac's... gone. yea. gone. sighs i miss her really bad now. it's barely been a few hours. gonna miss you my dear cous. missing you for screaming at me to hurry out of the house cos you are always late. missing you for screwing me up big time by your out of no where boos! missing you for laughing with me down the shopping malls, all the time. missing you for pushing me off the bed everytime i bunk over at yer room. sighs. there's so much i can miss you for. oh wells. im just missing you for you. gotta live by myself for eleven days! my my. that's friggin longggggggg. and i really hope i didnt miss out any stuff of yers while packing yer baggage. and dear girl, your bible is right at the bottom of yer haversack. your law notes are in a brown envolope in that pocket with a zip right underneath your coats. stuffed the lip balm you refuse to bring in the toiletries bag. -sticks tongue out- you'll love me for smuggling that in. the happy socks i gave you are together with your court shoes in that shoe case. four pairs in all. a stripped blue and yellow. a pink with butterfly prints. a lime green one. one with shades of orange. yepps. four in all. now. beware of the chill in vienna and have fun in the snow. most importantly, miss me.

][jukebox][ clay aiken! - i know how the river feels
][feeling][

2003-04-08T11:13:00.000-07:00

to the moon. and back.
pherd. yeps. im really relieved you asked. i dont think i'll ever be able to tell you that. but i know i'll be strong and independent. higher expectation=more hope. rights? -smiless- guess im sorry for not telling you early. but thank you for listening and understanding and not scolding. =/ wells, i know youre gonna read this. so... nah. this is for you. -huggs- and all is well again. -grinns-

][jukebox][ clay aiken! [-swoons-] - suger pie hunny bunch :)
][feeling][ chilled.

2003-04-08T01:15:00.000-07:00

it's raining outdoors. i can hear the thunder crackling over the buzzing of the fans and the clicking of keyboards as we scurry to finish our communications outlines. if i listen closely, i'm sure i could hear the pitter patter of drops landing on the grass. one of the most relaxing, engaging sounds in the world. at the same time it let us know that we are just tiny existences among the billions in the world, but also that we are not alone. it humbles us and consoles us in one foul swoop.

this is a good time for a rainstorm. as we are bombarded with bad news at home and abraod, as war looms near and stresses accumulate, the rain brings such a comforting truth: mother nature will always take care of herself and of us. such a novel idea, romantic and idealistic at the same time. mother nature will always take care of us, nourishing not only our bodies, but our souls and spirits as well.

i am unfortunately cooped up indoors during this downpour of hope and innocence. right now, there is nothing i want more than to lay in the grass alone. the drops, large and small dancing on my face, the aura of calm enveloping my body, holding me with a gentle reminder that everything will be okay.

it's something i often need to be reminded of.

2003-04-08T01:01:00.000-07:00

i hurt whilst seeing their fake smiles
strapped in and locked shut in a box encrusted with all that shimmers, i peek out through the tiny hole which provides the little air i breathe. and those who do nothing but watch from the outside are convinced that my scope is narrow and therefore i am blinded by solitude and dreams. but they fail to see that i am not participating in their petty games or false illusions, and what i am able to see is far more than they will ever be able to.
in this box where i am safe, everything real remains the same. i am still able to watch the stars twinkle as they wish me goodnight, i can still hear the winds blow and the raindrops falling upon surfaces of ground and windows. i can still smell the scents of morning and night, i can still feel the warmth of love on my skin. it all remains the same. unlike the others. those who are fake. those whom i used to resemble.
and maybe to some, the life i lead is sad and alone, with only one hand which will always be there. but i beg to differ. i believe the life i lead is the best that can ever be for me, and that's what matters. i no longer find consolation in smiling to mask tears, nor holding back profanity to hide my anger.
but i am not sorry, nor do i regret choosing to live my life this way. at least i know all those whom i invite into this box i live in are people whom my heart reaches out to with open arms. at least they set me free.
i have escaped from the open world i used to live in, and used to believe i thrived in. but how can i thrive in a world which i can't even call my own? it is not anyone's fault, i am just unable to co-habitat with them, i belong to somewhere else, far away, and maybe, just maybe...not so far out of reach.

2003-04-08T00:49:00.000-07:00

its just lots of everything poured into one
all we can do is sit and ask what would you do if the sky fell down?
and smiles dont really get you anywhere
because i can see it in your eyes,
when it leads right through to your insides
you dont care where anywhere is,
because anywhere is where you pretend not to be
keep telling me we'll be alright with violins and happy endings
but no, im not naive enough to look through fake delight
making everything a little lost with disregarded sendings.

2003-04-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

i feel hate boiling deep within
when i see you staring right back at me
in the mirror
two faced. yucks. i promise im never gonna blog what i do not feel and not force myself to blog all cheery stuff when im not happy. dont decide for me what im to say or not. im human too. not your yaya all happy girl. ive feelings. ive felt pain. ive suffered. ive, had enough. and dont pretend that you care when you dont. youve never known me, at all, right from the start. have you?

][jukebox][
][feeling][ screwed.

2003-04-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

your promise?
my dream come true =)
shaun's concert was -thumbs up- great. his item and the one before that was the best. at least i heard a proper melody. hahas. anyhows, it was a great night out with timothy, samuel, jonathan and debbie. havent seen timothy for a real long time. but oh wells he and sam have really grown. tall guys now huh. hahas. and so much more gentlemanly. it's weird how the guy who opens the door for you was actually the one sitting beside you in primary one creating helluva noise. hahas. but according to debbie, timothy is still the loudest guy in class. that pair of cousins still argue the same way. the way timothy bickered with me was still the same as how he did in primary school. samuel is still the same ol mel and slow samuel. oh wells. some things never change huh. and after catching up with shaun, we headed to cartel for dinner and samuel lead in saying grace. hahas. all of us are from different churches though, besides the cousins. theyre actually quite fun people to get along with after so many years. really miss primary school days. saw carol joce and alaric. silly them. they forgot bout me. but surprisingly, i didnt snap at alaric when i saw him. in fact i said hi. ooh. something's got into me mens. oh wells. it's been a long night. and toe! thanks. =) pretty enlightened. funny how it came from you and not someone else. -huggs- thanks dear.

][jukebox][ clay aiken - i know how the river feels
][feeling][ all messed up up in the mind.

2003-04-06T00:23:00.000-08:00

perhaps, youre right
but im the disappointing one. i know i havent been a good shepherd to you. or the other two. i just dont know how to put my feelings into words. and put them right. the words just refuse to come out. and im stuck. not knowing where to start. and i guess this is the first time. but whether or not, im sorry.

][jukebox][
][feeling][

2003-04-05T05:57:00.000-08:00

shoes! shoots. i missed out i know how the river feels by clay too. -grinns- listen to it!!! wanted to tell you this in your gbk but signmyguestbook.com just refuses to let me sign again. -rolls eyes at signmyguestbook.com-

2003-04-04T03:39:00.000-08:00

I have issues with...

health
nature
mother
work
women

Take Word Association Test

=.=''' women?!?! my my. jac's so right. shoots.

2003-04-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

pardon our lameness in the middle of tonight
a lil loving says:
you know when u told it was gonna be a poppy kinda song
a lil loving says:
the first thing i thought of was swaying flowers with smiley faces in the sun o.o
`yucks. says:
=.='''
a lil loving says:
haha pardon my rather unoriginal imagination XD
`yucks. says:
its far too original already lorr toe
`yucks. says:
we can do chinese RAP!!! !!! !!! -grinns-
`yucks. says:
hahas
a lil loving says:
O.O!!!!!! female ver. of energy???? man den when we act. perform live we can break dance!!! twirl on our heads!!WATS UP MAN!!
a lil loving says:
.......
a lil loving says:
ok im always a lil weird at night
`yucks. says:
hahas!
`yucks. says:
yes yes!!!
`yucks. says:
we shall do JUST THAT!
`yucks. says:
-grinns-
a lil loving says:
*stares at ronx with horrified eyes*
a lil loving says:
hmmmm. wat color u want our helmets to be?
a lil loving says:
u know for twirling on the grd XD
`yucks. says:
ahahahas
`yucks. says:
RED definitely!
a lil loving says:
and we can you know stick lil plastic flowers on it,wear flower suits and sing abt the swaying joyful flowers in the sun ;D
`yucks. says:
yes yes!!!
`yucks. says:
oh my
`yucks. says:
can you imagine...
`yucks. says:
we'll wow the judges with our creativity boy!
a lil loving says:
haha yea! and pretty soon they'll be swaying with us waving lil HANDMADE flower sticks that we gave to them n attempting to twirl on their heads too
`yucks. says:
ahahas
`yucks. says:
and you know wort
`yucks. says:
the audience will be so captivated, we'll have fans all over the island!
a lil loving says:
yea man!!!!! we'll make history!!! for being first in the world to let an entire COUNTRY twirl on their heads with us xD!! imagine!!! haha everyone cld wear orchids on their helmets or something haha
`yucks. says:
and the tour guides will have such an easy job!
`yucks. says:
becos all over the island, there'll be representations of singapore!
`yucks. says:
becos EVERYONE will be doing OUR trademark!
`yucks. says:
-grinns-
a lil loving says:
RIght on!!! XD!!!! hohohoho we shld call ourselves 'the mighty flowers' or 'the flower giants' or something hahahah
`yucks. says:
no!
`yucks. says:
we should call ourselves "flower punks!"
`yucks. says:
ahahas
a lil loving says:
XD! whoo~! alright! and we'll all have GREEN hair to represent the grass that the flowers grow on!
`yucks. says:
oh yes! how could we EVER forget THAT green hair?!!!
a lil loving says:
hahahaha~! man....wat glorious fun~~~~ does shoe have any VIOLENT objections? -grinns-
a lil loving says:
hahah well if she does...she cld always be the bg grass swaying along with us hahaha``
`yucks. says:
god bless shoes!
a lil loving says:
hohoho!!! man this is gonna shock sg man...ARE YOU READY fOR tHe "FLOWEERRR PUNKKKKKKSSS!!!"!!!!!!!! hahah but eh.band name no need be in chinese rite?
`yucks. says:
omg!
`yucks. says:
hua mi xiao zi!
`yucks. says:
afterall, there's a ke mi xiao zi!
a lil loving says:
no no!! we should be hua er mei3 mei4!!! we 're girls afterall *wriggles eyebrows*

ahahas. that was me and toe. she's hilarious. -grinns- we were discussin bout this chinese songwriting competition our chinese teacher asked shoes to join. and shoes actually pulled in the two of us. =/ and our imaginations ran out of sight. hahas. and yes, shoe! any violent objections? lol.

][jukebox][ clay aiken! - not supposed to love you anymore
][feeling][so cracked up.

2003-04-03T03:22:00.000-08:00

hi!

2003-04-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

danger zone.
i feel down. physically. mentally. emotionally. spiritually.

][jukebox][ avril - temple of life
][feeling][ down!

2003-03-31T14:24:00.000-08:00

i dislike bush. quite alot.

An Iraqi man comforts his 4-year-old son at a regroupment center for POWs of the 101st Airborne Division near An Najaf, Iraq. Monday, March 31, 2003. The man was seized in An Najaf with his son and the U.S. military did not want to separate father and son.

2003-03-31T10:36:00.000-08:00

sometimes it's good to keep your words to yourself
omg. this totally freaked me out when i was looking at prom dresses online. like don't you guys have models with nicer backs? -cringes- anyways im really getting real bored at home. though ive had my share of fun of self-entertainment for the past few days. but now, i dont think i can go that far already. boredom can drive me crazy. becos my self-entertainment is really so bad it entertains my sis too. =.="' oh wells. im planning to go for shaun's concert on sunday night (if i manage to beg my mom to let me out). anyone's interested to come along with me? hmns. valtoe and shoes! will you all go with me? hahas. i know you two are always available and yes, shaun's my peer larr, he's performing in a group of six pianists. he's one and the other five are from nafa. it's gonna be at the esplanade. so i suppose its gonna be a blast? anyways, ive watched him perform a zillion times on the violin. he never fails to disappoint me. so yea. this is the second time [the first being him perform a solo for a solo audience of me only at his place.hahas] i cant hear him on his piano. yea. go with me. puh-lease?

][jukebox][ if you were my girl
][feeling][ bored.

2003-03-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

grinding isnt supposed to be done with your face
In 1976, California was deep into a multi year drought. The worst on state record. It was so severe that people were letting their lawns go brown and their swimming pools evaporate to near emptiness. The Dogtown boys found a new game and a new venue; pool hopping. When they would find a local pool unattended, dried up or nearly dried up, they invaded during daylight hours and invented a new game; riding their boards down into the deep end, up the side as high as they could go and than flipping back down again. It was as close to riding a wave as they could get outside of actually getting into the water. The camera captures all the fun and excitement (the cops were all over them like dogs and a good drained pool only lasted a day or two) and thrill of young dudes inventing a new paradigm. It must have felt exactly like this in 1961 London when there was a skiffle group on every corner and bands were wiring up and playing new music that was loud and offensive to the old farts, while it felt like ice cream of the soul to them. They played their music because it was in them and had to get out. Some of those player became the Who and the Beatles, some of them became nameless, faceless lorry drivers and accountants. Just like the Dogtown boys 25 years later are scattered throughout the cultural landscape; from Tony Alva, king of the grind to unrecognized old timers who are still part of the club, the gang even if no one but themselves and their pals know it.
All of what we consider the standards of modern skateboarding, from competitions, to torn pants on MTV, to half-pipes at suburban skate parks, even to what we play on our PSII was invented by these kids. And it's nice to see some of these pioneers cashing in and getting their just dues, even if some of the original crew are in less than optimum life positions. It's always works out this way in any cultural movement. And if a few of the guys seems to come across on screen as if they're still too much caught up in "the cool things I did, the cool person I was when I was somebody!" Then they can be forgiven because we all have our defining moments, even if they are more important in our own internal movies then they ever were in real life. The Z-boys, as opposed to most of us, really were somebody back in the day and can point to themselves with pride anytime they like. Once upon a time they were a piece of the way all of us were as teens. Once upon a time they were our champions.

If you've ever ridden a board and tried, even one time, to jump that curb or turn low and fast, dripping with attitude, pretending you were riding a high tall one on the Oahu North Shore, see this movie. But if you're as old as the Z-boy alumni and you're not Tony Alva, don't try anything too flashy. You'll break every bone you've got left.

ripped that off some site. hahas. hilarious.

][jukebox][ the psalm of protection for the last days
][feeling][ bored.

2003-03-29T07:23:00.000-08:00

listen to me, will you?
ayeyeye. it's not fun to stay at home on a saturday! im supposed to be at nexus. and it's all her fault. -points at my mom- and she herself is out of the house 247. oh wells. just gotta make-do for this another week. and heard that this hol is gonna be extended. urgh. it's just eating into my planned goals and schedules. ive absolutely nothing to do now at home. that's why im so free as to do up a new blog. but it's nice, aint it? -feels so satisfied with myself- so maybe you guys can expect more blog changes to come from me. hahas. cos ive nothing else to do. afterall ive finished watching the vcd of twenty episodes my sis bought for me over the past two days. and i made pizza for lunch today. wow at myself. hahas. im really goo d at it okay. besides the part where i forgot to put butter into the pan before stuff the doughy yeasty thing in. yea. and yeps. you know. the pan was burnt and had a tough time washing it. the pizza crust was burnt too. =/ but! it was yummy. really. hahas. my my. what an eventful day. -sighs-

][jukebox][ knocking on the door of heaven
][feeling][ very bored.